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Articles
List By Category " Humor "  |
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YO THERE QUIPPING QUEEN!
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Adrian Air-of-Sleet
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02 Jul 2008 05:54:31
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Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.
YO THERE QUIPPING QUEEN!
Or, who is that entourage of questionable quirky characters
anyway?
By: Adrian Air-of-Sleet, Personal Secretary and Royal
Biographer to Her Royal Majesty, Victoria Elizabeth, Quipping
Queen and Empress of Eccentricity who is responsible for
overseei ...
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Rural Relocation - Considerations and Adjustments
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Nola L. Kelsey
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29 Jun 2008 05:26:12
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So you're thinking about going country? It's time to abandon the
frenzy of city life, drop the 'G' from the end of your verbs and
trade your Gucci for goats. You long to be in a place where
business is done on a handshake, where your backyard is
bountiful and where folks welcome you with warm apple pie and a
smile. You want the sim ...
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Eight Fired U. S. Attorneys Asked If Gonzales Should Stay
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Tom Attea
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11 Jan 2008 12:47:40
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In a rare turn of events, in which the victims of political nonsense get to have their day in court, the eight U. S. attorneys who were fired under the watch of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales have been asked to decide if he should stay on the job.
When asked how they might vote, one of the attorneys said, "I always like to give the guy who ...
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Importance of Humor in your speech
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ibrahim
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09 Jan 2008 01:52:31
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Some keynote speaker says that they do not use humor in their speech because it does not go with their comfort. In fact any body can use humor and it is a very valuable tool in speaking. Apt humorous speech relaxes your audience and creates more comfortable feel with you as a humorous speaker. Humor could a ...
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Humorous Software? It's Going To Bust Your Chops.
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John Deprice
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08 Jan 2008 07:47:27
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Do you think software is boring? Think again. Software companies
have developed products that change your voice, make funny
pictures and even predict your future. Curious? Read on.
AV Voice Changer (Avnex Ltd)
Browbeaten by bad chaps? Not allowed to play adult games? Want
nobody to recognize your real identity? Now with AV Voice
Changer Soft ...
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The Warner Brothers Make Noise
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Stephen Schochet
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08 Jan 2008 07:47:27
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Hollywood was an attractive place for the early filmmakers to
settle, full of good weather, orange and lemon trees. For
producers who owed money on borrowed camera equipment if a
creditor came after them, they could hide among the trees. It
was a hard business full of causalities and took a pirate's
mentality to survive. Most of the studio heads ...
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Morgan Pressel Cinderellas from John Kennedy into Tiger Woods
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Karen Fish
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08 Jan 2008 07:47:27
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As Yogi Berra said, "It ain't over till it's over." Right now it looks like earthlings are just about to follow the dinasours into extinction in nuclear world war 3 and its aftermath nuclear winter then ultraviolet summer. However it isn't over till it's over. Just ask Morgan Pressel.
18 year old blonde pixie Morgan Pressel s ...
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A WORD OR TWO ABOUT MUGWUMPS
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Victoria Elizabeth
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08 Jan 2008 07:47:27
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Copyright Victoria Elizabeth 2004.
A WORD OR TWO ABOUT MUGWUMPS -- Where oh where have the mugwumps
gone? --
If you think we're living in some "tough tiddy times", you could
be right.
After all, when the makers of "Wonderbread" and "Twinkies" have
just declared bankcruptcy, it makes all the wafflers, whifflers,
and wunderkins of the world a tad ...
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Sure, You Can Afford To Lose Your Cell Phone, But How About Your $500 Blackberry?
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Tom Attea
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08 Jan 2008 07:47:27
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It's one thing to misplace your rudimentary cell phone. But it's another thing to lose your new slim Blackberry or your Motorola Q, each of which goes for about $500.
The most frightening thing is, these more valuable gizmos aren't much bigger than regular cells, so they're just as easy to leave at a restaurant or almost ...
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You Can Only Be A True Georgian If...
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Ed Williams
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19 Nov 2007 02:53:39
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You know how to get the juice out of a honeysuckle.
You get excited each and every time the Falcons make the
playoffs, and you never get excited when the Braves do the exact
same thing.
You cuss the drive up to Atlanta, but you enjoy yourself after
you get there.
You realize that people have different speaking accents in the
West, Northwest, North ...
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Under A Cuban Moon
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Bill Dollar
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19 Nov 2007 02:53:32
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HAVANA,May 20 (www.cubanet.org) - Cuban
authorities have implemented strict security measures at the
embarkation points for the small ferries crossing Havana
bay.Now, before boarding, all passengers must go through a metal
detector. Newly posted signs warn passengers they can't carry
furniture or birthday cakes...
You ...
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Caution When Upgrading
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Stupid Wisdom
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19 Nov 2007 02:53:32
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Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the
new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and
valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors
all other sys ...
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The Litter Box Shuffle
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M.L. Scott
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19 Nov 2007 02:53:32
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Cat owners have a preoccupation with waste disposal that rivals
only that of sanitation workers. Indeed, only a fellow cat lover
could understand. The ultimate litter solution seems to elude us
like the search for the Holy Grail. We know it's out there. And
we know it should cost something less than ...
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GET A GRIP - GRANNY'S BACK IN TOWN!
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Aphrodite Beamish
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19 Nov 2007 02:53:32
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Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.
GET A GRIP - GRANNY'S BACK IN TOWN!
-- Or, Go Granny Go! --
According to Webster, (a wicked if not witless wordsmith), a
“granny” is “a fussy person”. Others refer to her as a "Shrew",
a "Sourpuss" or possibly a "Supreme Snit-Face".
Clearly, “granny” ranks right up there together with all the
other pejorative ...
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Ass Pimples Vs Back Acne
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Taylor May - Pimplegel.com
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19 Nov 2007 02:53:32
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/p>
Ass Pimples Vs Back Acne
What is Back Acne ? Umm... Acne on your back. There you
have it. Well there is a difference compared to face acne. Back acne is one form of
body acne and it's a bitch
to reach when you need to treat that really juicy volcanic pimple on your back. What are
ass pimples? pimples on your
bum, what more can I sa ...
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EVERYONE HAS A DOUBLE SOMEWHERE
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By Rev. James L. Snyder
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19 Nov 2007 02:52:02
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The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly have an
agreement as ironclad as any legal document in the world court.
Simply put, the contract is as follows: I will eat broccoli when
she eats liver. I'm on pretty good ground here because I know
she abhors liver and will not allow me bringing it i ...
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Dog Poo
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And you thought we had problems?
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19 Nov 2007 02:52:02
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In Southern Germany in a town by the name of Bayreuth, the
German police are in a quandary. The town’s dog poo is under
attack. Park officials are desperate to resolve what could
become an international incident. Unknown person or persons have
been sticking little US flags into piles of doggie poo for over
a year now.
Surpri ...
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Who Invented the Airplane?
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Skyler McCloud
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19 Nov 2007 02:52:02
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Stephen Wright and his brother Lefty invented the first airplane in Kitty Litter, Wisconsin. The airplane was not a quick-and-dirty invention, as you can imagine, taking thousands of hours of development time and budget overruns. From an early age, Stephen made little jokes with a straight face and annoyed Lefty. Because of t ...
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What's With The Automated Checkouts?
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Call me Queenie
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19 Nov 2007 02:52:02
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It’s 5:30 Friday evening. I’ve just put in a full 8 hours at
work, commuted for another hour, the home frig is all but empty
and I still have to make dinner for my family. So I dash into my
familiar home town supermarket, who at this point shall remain
nameless – but the name does starts with A - thinking I’d
quickly pick up the makings for tonigh ...
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WANTED
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Theolonius McTavish
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19 Nov 2007 02:52:02
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Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.
WANTED: SUPERWOMAN/MAN
Or, if you can leap tall piles of filing in a single bound and
save someone's bacon...you're hired!
By Theolonius McTavish, a Superman aficionado of sorts, and
an acquaintance of someone called the "Guru of Glitch",
(who can transform mountains into molehills ...
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The Sky Is Falling
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Tim Knox
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19 Nov 2007 02:52:02
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When you turn on the TV and learn that a giant, killer asteroid is headed your way, you have to ask yourself certain questions. Like, should I have that second bowl of Crispy Hexagons or just stop at one?
The other morning, I was sitting at my kitchen table eating my usual bowl of generic cereal (Crispy H ...
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Halfway Through Summer - Are We Having Fun Yet
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Bonnie P. Carrier
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19 Nov 2007 02:49:06
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Today is Thursday the 23rd of June and we’re almost halfway
through the summer can you believe it.
It seem to me that you wait and wait to get past the winter (at
least here in the Northeast) then some years a wet soggy spring
and finally your rewarded with sunny warm weather.
Once it arrives you run madly around getting yo ...
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New Video Share Community Site
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Mary Becali
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19 Nov 2007 02:49:06
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Have you ever felt that the usual online community sites (such as Myspace, Facebook and so on) often lack, well, entertainment? They may very well allow you to chat for hours and hours to friends you know, and people you don't, but the whole "scene" starts to feel slightly repetitive after a while.
One site tha ...
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My First Trip to Destin, Florida
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Tony M. Isaacs
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19 Nov 2007 02:49:06
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Have you ever been to Destin, Florida? I love the white sand beaches, moderate climate and beautiful clear blue ocean there, although it's a much more touristy kind of place than it was about 30 years ago when I first went there with my father, step mother, half-sister, and other family members. I remember that we checked into th ...
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A French Teacher's Memories
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Gabrielle Guichard
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19 Nov 2007 02:49:06
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Anyone know how it is to go to school for the first time.
Teachers live through this experience twice; and the second time
is not the less impressive.
Despite my diplomas that allowed me to teach in state secondary
schools and my requests, I had been appointed to teach to a
sixth-grade class. At least, I almost worked in my backyard. The
m ...
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Zombie, and Other Assorted Un-dead Types
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By S. Joan Popek
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19 Nov 2007 02:49:06
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The most notable feature of zombies and other dead things is
that they are not very smart. Something happens to their logical
thinking process in the nether world just before they rise again
to terrorize their chosen hero and heroin. Speaking of heros,
have you noticed that there is always one of each gender o ...
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Package Baggage
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Perry Estelle
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19 Nov 2007 02:49:06
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It always fries my brains when I have nothing more creative to
do with my time than visit a computer store. It is a bit like
sending a Brit soldier to the gulf without any body armour. I am
always caught between the friendly fire of spotty computer
experts who start rubbing themselves up against a flatscreen
thinner than a ...
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Laughing at the Indian Cricket Team
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Jack Reider
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19 Nov 2007 01:54:09
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Even with top class players, the Indian team loses and loses so here are some jokes directed at them.
Indian cricket is headed for a disastrous World Cup and only those who wish to bury their head in the sand can think that they will do well there. The pitches in West Indies are fast and the players (who anyway have a tough time on such pitch ...
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The Bare truth About My Butt Quiz
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Timothy Ward
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18 Nov 2007 10:46:09
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Forget about the SAT, never mind the FCAT, and remove forever from you mind any thoughts about the ACT. All these test pale in comparision to the examination that I just failed. Failing those test may have minor repurcussions like never making it into college and therefore being forced to work at fast food resturants well ...
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`I'm Not A Christian, But I Play One On Sunday'
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Rev. James L. Snyder
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18 Nov 2007 06:11:59
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After more than three decades of church ministry, I have come to
one unsettling conclusion. Actually, I've come to more than one
conclusion, but this one is the most depressing.
That conclusion is simply this: all who say they are going to
Heaven are not actually on the right path, going in the right
direction. Most, of course, have the best in ...
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